Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
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