At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
