between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
