the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
