u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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