if i can run in heels then i can drive
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
So here I am, sexting at work.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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