he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
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Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
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I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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