Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
