So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Quick, to the slutcave!
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
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How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
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Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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