Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
