im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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