Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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