Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
