well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
