WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Randomize
