i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
