if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Text me some of your sweat
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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