i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
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Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize