I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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