i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
