Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
