My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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