So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
