Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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