she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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