Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
barbara walters just said penis...
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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