i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
wanna go halves on a baby?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
