Define "chronic" masturbator.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
