he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
