I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
