porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
