Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
