It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
