Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
