We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
