This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
