he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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