They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
