She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
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I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
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you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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