Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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