How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
