Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
