just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
