I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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