dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
