I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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