I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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