Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
