Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i dont even know how to be here
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
