I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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