toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
