Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Sober January is a disaster.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
