girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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