call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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