You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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