She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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