Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
